


It's Never Me, Is It?

by TheGuiltyOnes (ThexDoctorsxWife)



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, also mc has a name, reset theory, seven's real name mentioned in the end so uh spoilers for that??, the idea of seven knowing about the different timelines is gr9 because suffering (tm), this is stupid lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 08:14:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9875792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThexDoctorsxWife/pseuds/TheGuiltyOnes
Summary: Eleven days of watching her fall in love with someone else





	

**Author's Note:**

> oh boy.  
> 1\. I am not a writer. No, seriously.  
> 2\. This is dumb  
> 3\. I love Seven, but I love Seven suffering with the feelings (tm) even more~  
> 4\. My life has spiraled out of control because of this damn game  
> 4/14 - minor edits made

Eleven days.

That's all it took for him to fall in love with her. Eleven days of late night phone calls, his phone pressed tight against his ear as he made her laugh with every joke he could think of, the sound of it like warm light seeping into the darkened crevices of his soul. Eleven days of watching her through the CVTV, palm pressed against the screen as he watched her throughout the day, thinking how adorable she looked when dancing, arms flailing, head thrown back as she sang along with whatever music was playing (sometimes, she did this funny little twirl on her toes that ended with her falling onto the couch, breathless but smiling, cheeks red as she tried to calm down. The sight of it all had rendered him useless, his work for the agency all but forgotten as thoughts of her spun around in his mind, a kaleidoscope of colors that featured prominently in his dreams for days). Eleven days of watching her fall in love with someone else.

Somewhere around the fifth day, her actions towards Yoosung had changed. Her teasing had an affectionate edge to it. She encouraged his gaming addiction, cheering him on with enthusiasm despite her confession that she knew nothing about the game whatsoever. She listened to him speak of his feelings regarding his cousin, and when the memories of his past became too much, she was there with open arms and warm words. How could anyone not fall for such a person who excluded such empathy?

And so Seven forced himself to be cheerful and teasing when she had called him one night, her whispered confession of I love him. I love Yoosung piercing his heart even as he teased her mercilessly.

He should have expected this, though. He didn't deserve happiness, couldn't afford it, either. Not with his line of work.

And that was fine, he thought. The privilege of knowing her, of being near her was enough.

Right?

"God." He mumbled as he settled in the corner of the room where the party was being held, his eyes immediately scanning the crowd, looking for her.

He found her...locked in an embrace with Yoosung. The boy had his arms wrapped tight against her, their foreheads touching as they talked. He watched as the tips of her fingers lightly traveled along the edges of the gauze covering Yoosung's eye.

Another wave of guilt hit him as he watched how gentle she was. He remembered approaching her before Yoosung had arrived, taking a moment to collect himself as he slowly neared her, trying to ignore how pretty she looked in her dress.

"Hana," he said softly, lightly touching her arm to get her attention.

He noticed the way she looked behind him for a brief second before settling her eyes on him (how had he never noticed the flecks of gold that shot through the brown of her eyes? Like stars, he thought).

"Hi, God Seven!" Her grin was cheeky, and he felt a smile of his own curling his mouth before he caught himself.

He cleared his throat. "Listen, when Yoosung gets here, try to be calm. He's fine!" He assured her when her smile fell, worry creeping onto her features. "He's okay now, but I wanted to tell you beforehand. And I am sorry. It's all my fault."

He had turned and walked away, not waiting to hear her yell, not wanting to see the anger in her eyes.

And now, there they were, giggling and holding hands. He could see how red Yoosung's cheeks were when she went up on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek.  
He was happy for them, truly. (He wondered how many times he needed to say it before it became true.)

He decided to slip out now that everything was going smoothly. They wouldn't miss him.

"Luciel."

The sound of his baptismal name from her lips stopped him in his tracks, and he waited, back stiff as her vanilla scent settled over him.

"God Seven," she said, and when he turned around, she was smiling.

Huh. She didn't seem angry at him.

"I wanted to tell you something."

Oh god, he thought. This is where she starts telling him how irresponsible it was of him to invoke her boyfriend. This is where she would tell him off. He could handle it.  
Instead, she took his hand (he tried to not think about how warm her palm felt pressed against his. Or how right it felt), and led him back to his previously empty corner.

"Hana, I'm so-" "Thank you."

His eyes widened at her words. She was thanking him? Thanking him for almost getting her boyfriend killed?

"Er...what?" He was flustered, to say the least.

"Thank you for bringing him back safely. Thank you for looking out for him."

And then she went and did something that he found just as confusing: she kissed him. On the cheek.  
(Warm lips. The scent of coffee and vanilla muddling his thoughts.)

When she left, he pressed a hand against his cheek, his heartbeat loud in his ears, his eyes trained on the young woman who went around to each guest, making sure they were enjoying themselves.

He realized then that he was truly fucked.

I... love her.

$

It was an ordinary day spent messing with Yoosung on the RFA app, the younger man's gullibility making him an easy target for Seven's devious schemes and pranks.  
Ordinary except for the fact that someone had entered the chat. Someone had never expected to see again. Not after Yoosung had called him in the middle of the night, the sound of the boys sobs loud in his otherwise quiet home.

"It's you," he whispered as he watched her interactions with the others flash across his screen.

He waited for Yoosung to recognize her but he didn't. He reacted just like he had in the beginning - a shy curiosity at the fact that a girl had joined and was now occupied at Rika's hidden apartment.

"What the hell?"

He went and searched through her social media sites, and it was as if her previous life had never existed.

And so he waited for her to say something, or for any of them to acknowledge the strangeness of it all, but none of them ever did. He was left with questions and a still burning hope that maybe she would love him now.

It didn't happen that way, such was his luck.

The fifth day rolled around (maybe that was a key to all this) and the flirting between her and Zen became more. He watched as she swooned every time the actor posted a selfie.

"I think I need to visit him." She had told him one night, and between him and Jumin, she had managed to meet the actor.

Beneath that narcissism was an inferiority complex, and she did what she did best - she loved him with everything she had, her heart was his, her words of love were freely given, and all Seven could do was watch as they fell in love.

At the party, he watched from his corner, jealousy an ugly thing rearing its head as he watched as Zen publicly kissed her, the actor's fingers knowing and sure as they traced her curves.

He should have known that she wouldn't let him leave so easily. The easy way she spoke his name made him stop every time. He knew that he should apologize once again. The bomb was his fault. It was always his fault.

"Luciel, I want you to know that I forgive you."

That was the thing, though. He didn't deserve her forgiveness. Why did she have to be so damned understanding and kind? It was so cute and irritating at the same time.

"You nearly died." The whispered words escaped his lips before he could catch them.

"But I didn't. And I do have you to thank for letting Zen know the address to the apartment." She stared over his shoulder, star-flecked eyes warm as she gazed at her lover. "Zen will understand some day." Zen had barely spoken two words to him since they had met at the party, Zen's ruby eyes flashing with anger as he attempted to shield her from the harassment of the reporters.

"Heh. I don't blame him for being upset."

She squeezed his arm briefly. "Don't be too hard on yourself, Luciel."

And she walked away and into the arms of Zen, who bent down to whisper against the shell of her ear, grinning when her cheeks turned red.

When he finally left, he buried himself in work, desperately trying to forget images of slim fingers resting along his arm, of warm brown eyes that radiated with forgiveness.

$

By now, he merely played along, pretending to look her up, pretending that they had just met. Pretending. Pretending.

He knew that he merely needed to wait until day five for her to make a decision. Again, he hoped, hating himself all the while. For all he knew, she could easily fall in love with Zen or Yoosung again.

It turned out to be Jaehee, poor overworked Jaehee.

They fangirled over Zen's musicals, bonded over their shared love of coffee, and spoke of long suppressed dreams.

"Poor Jaehee." She sighed into the phone. "She has this wonderful dream of opening up her own coffee house, but doesn't think anyone will support her decision to leave Jumin's company."

"She has you," he whispered. "If anyone can convince her, inspire her, it's you, Hana. Look at what you did with the others."

"The others?"

Shit. "Uh... It's nothing. Haha, I am just rambling."

"...okay."

"But seriously, you're there with her, encouraging her already. Just continue to be there."

"Who knew God Seven was so wise~."

Her teasing tone made him laugh. "Only my most devoted disciples get to experience the wisdom of God Seven."

"I am truly blessed," she replied solemnly. "Thank you, Seven. I appreciate it."

$

Jaehee was blushing as she pressed the key into Hana's palm. He watched as Hana kissed Jaeehee's cheek, the former assistant stammering when Hana had pulled away. Hana took hold of Jaehee's hand, linking their fingers together as her free hand went up to gently tuck a strand of hair behind Jaehee's ear.

This time, he didn't linger and swiftly left.

He didn't think he could handle her soft eyes or warm touches. Couldn't handle her sweet words of gratitude.

When Jaehee noticed her absence, he only sighed and continued on with his work for the agency. He knew she would show up again.

$

He hadn't counted on her falling for the C&R director, hadn't considered the fact that the emotionless robot actually had feelings.

Very strong and possessive ones, it seemed.

"Just tell me I didn't make a mistake in letting you go there."

She sighed into the phone. "No, you didn't. He - I know you and Zen like to make fun of him, but he really is struggling with his emotions. It has to be hard to just let yourself feel after repressing them for so long. I sympathize with him."

He felt guilty for all the times he had teased Jumin for the way he started expressing himself.

"He is treating you okay, though?"

She laughed. "You sounded like Zen for a moment there." He grimaced. "But yes. He is a perfect gentleman. I'm glad I was able to see him."

"...well, as long as you're happy, then it's okay."

"I am." She took a deep breath. "I hadn't realized how deep my feelings ran for him, but I don't think I could ever leave him."

You may not have a choice, he thought sadly.

He teased her, called her Mrs. Han, and ended the call feeling like the worst liar in the world. He didn't usually pray, but he made an exception that night.

$

"Luciel, are you okay?"

A vision in a waterfall of blue silk stood before him. He blinked and managed to force a smile.

She frowned, not buying into his attempt at cheerfulness. "Please. Talk to me."

\   
Why have you never chosen me? Why am I forced to remember you in every timeline? Why can't you love me?

He didn't ask her, of course. Couldn't ask her. She wouldn't understand in the end. It was a burden that was his to bear alone.

Instead, he took her hand in his and smiled gently. "It's alright, Hana. We can talk about it later."

Before she could protest, he turned her around and gently guided her toward Jumin, who was waiting for her. "Go to him." He told her. "He's waiting for you."

And he watched as Jumin Han went down on one knee, offered up his heart and hand in marriage. Watched as she grinned, tears glimmering like diamonds beneath the lights, her hand gently cupping his cheek as she told him yes.

$

Luciel half-heartedly listened as Jumin demanded that he search for her. It didn't matter in the end.

$

In the church, he clasped his hands together, head bowed as he prayed. please let her stay this time. Please.

"Saeyoung? Honey?"

His eyes opened, and he turned to face her, the light that shined through the stain glass windows illuminating the curves of her cheeks, the light red that tinted her brown hair.

"I love you." He said. "I love you. I love you."

He cupped her cheeks and kissed her mouth with a reverence that brought tears to her eyes.

"Promise me that you'll stay with me, be by my side always."

"Always, Saeyoung Choi. I'll always be with you."

He let himself kiss her once more, believing in her promise


End file.
